A formula for good health and happy spirits in 2013

Madeline and Marissa

My lovely daughter-in-law, Marissa Hall Sharples is a very spiritual woman. And she is a certified Reiki healer. I had a Reiki session with her yesterday and came upon the following hanging in the bathroom of her studio. I felt I had to share it with you. It's another way to change your life in this New Year. 

By the way, the session was so relaxing and healing. I recommend you try Reiki out sometime. You’ll definitely get hooked.

FORMULA FOR GOOD HEALTH AND HAPPY SPIRITS

Practice these three at all times:

• Be Positive
• Be Present
• Be Grateful

Add these practices to your daily schedule:

• Eat lots of fresh food
• Open and air-out residence
• Take lots of relaxing walks amongst nature
• Play uplifting music
• Wear comfortable clothes at home
• Take relaxing baths (herbal is great)
• Read uplifting literature
• Practice deep breathing three times a day
• Do some exercise daily (walk, bike, hike, yoga, dance aerobics, Pilates, etc.)
• Be creative (the arts, music, cooking, writing, woodwork, graphic design, etc.
• Keep a journal daily
• Have a massage weekly
• Be sincere, speak the Truth
• Express your feelings openly
• Keep positive, uplifting company
• Do some service for others
• Practice compassion, loving kindness, patience
• Use positive speech (our words create reality)
• Be a good example to others
• Have fun! And do whatever brings you and others peace, love, joy, happiness, harmony, and good health
• Enjoy the journey
• Live life fully each moment
• Share love with all.

Father's Day sadness

On this day I think a bit about my dad, but just a bit. He’s been dead since 1975 - over thirty-seven years. He’s vague in a lot of ways. Yet I still remember vividly his last year and half and his courageous battle against cancer. I think he waged the battle to please my mother. His own heart wasn’t in it. Finally, and I was so proud of him for this, he said he was through. He just wanted more and more morphine to aid him in dying. That was the most courageous part. Standing up to her and dying on his own terms.

Dad and Paul, 1973

What makes me more sad today is what Bob has been through. He was the father of three sons and now only one is living. His first son, Eric, was born with Down syndrome during his first marriage. He died in 2004 accidentally, choking on a peanut butter sandwich.

Bob and Eric

Our older son Paul was born perfectly healthy and was fine and brilliant until his first manic break at age twenty-one. He was then diagnosed with Bipolar 1 disorder. At age twenty-seven – five years before Eric died – he  took his own life in our home as a result. Bob found his body in our downstairs bathroom. You can read all about that in my memoir, Leaving the Hall Light On.

Bob and Paul, 1973

Bob doesn’t talk much about either of these deaths. Yet, many times I see him with tears in his eyes while watching something on television or hearing a piece of music. Just the other day he cried while listening to John Lennon because John reminds us of our Paul. Lennon was Paul’s hero and musical muse.

I think that is what makes me the saddest. Bob holds all his feelings in – and he works to drown them out.

Yet his life as a father isn’t all bad news.

Bob and Ben, 2012

Tonight we’re having dinner with our surviving son Ben. Ben is the light of our lives. Even with what he’s gone through – the loss of his brother – he is the most loving and caring person I know. He is a great husband, friend, teacher, and mentor. Never a conversation goes by without an “I love you” at the close. I love to watch Bob and Ben in a hug. And thankfully Ben and his wife, Marissa live close by. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

 Paul and Ben, 1977

Ben and Paul, 1994

Bob and Ben, Maui

Shooting a video is hard work

 The producer and director

I’m checking things off my list of to dos. One of the things that’s been on that list for months has been to make a three-minute video to post on Marla Miller’s Women Over 45: Speak website - another tool for marketing my memoir, Leaving the Hall Light On. And with the help of my son, Ben, and daughter in law, Marissa, we finally filmed it. They are the producer and director.

I wrote the script some weeks ago and spent quite a bit of time tweaking and going over it. The morning of the shoot I read through my lines a few times while I was on the elliptical at the gym. I made a few changes when I got home, and after I showered and dressed and did my hair and makeup, I started going over it again.

Ben and Marissa had suggested I break the piece up in parts and that was brilliant, because not being used to memorizing anything, I needed the breaks. Speaking for three minutes straight would have been daunting and probably boring. Filming the speech in several parts helped me follow their direction to sound normal and not like I had memorized a script.

I paced up and down the long hall outside my office and talked through the script a few times out loud just before they arrived, and of course I tried to memorize the whole thing. And then my preparation time was over. Ben and Marissa arrived with cameras, lighting, and even a little lavaliere microphone that hooked onto my shirt.

By the way, I wore gray cords, a white V-neck long-sleeved t-shirt and a red satiny blouse over it. For some reason Marissa had a premonition that I would wear red. I wondered why she would think that since I almost always were gray, white and black. Well, perhaps she had a special bond to me that morning. Yes, for sure that’s true.

Once my office was ready for the shoot, Marissa started asking me questions relative to each part in my script. Her finishing the question was my queue to start talking.

I think I had to go over every section two or three times, and one section we had to go back to at the end because I just couldn’t get it right. But, finally after about forty-five minutes of stops and stars and go-overs, we finished with the talking part.

Then they took shots of me working at my computer, sitting on my window seat and writing in a notebook, sitting on my window seat meditating, and finally walking around my yard looking at the plants or patting the Buddha or sticking my fingers in the water fountain.

My next chore is to pick out a piece of Paul’s music that isn’t longer than three minutes to use for background. But just getting this video work to this point is a big relief. And with Ben and Marissa’s help, I know it will turn out just great – perfect, in fact.

So stay tuned. I’ll post it here as soon as it’s finished.