Wonderful memoir writing advice from Kathy Pooler

Kathleen Pooler was guest here last November and happily agreed to bring her memoir writing wisdom back again. Please welcome Kathleen to Choices. I'm sure you're like me and can't wait to read her memoir once it's launched.

I look forward to your reading Kathleen's six writing tips.

Six Tips for Honoring the Story Within: A Memoir Writer’s Challenge

By Kathleen Pooler

“Your sacred place is where you find yourself again and again.” 

Joseph Campbell

Writing a memoir is hard work.

I know because I have been writing mine for the past four years.

That’s not counting the vignettes I started writing about thirteen years ago and the journaling I’ve done since I was a preteen. But I didn’t get serious about my memoir writer’s journey until 2009 when I started memoir writing workshops and started attending regional and national writing conferences.

It’s very humbling to learn what you don’t know, and when I started out, I knew nothing about writing a memoir. I only knew I had a story inside me I wanted to write about it.

It’s a well-known fact in memoir writing circles that writing a memoir is a daunting task fraught with many challenges, not the least being:

* Excavating painful memories

* Standing in your truth

* Dealing with family members or close friends who may not agree with your      perception of the truth.

All that on top of a market that says you have to be a celebrity to sell your story. Granted, some of this is changing with digital publishing but the fact still remains—getting your memoir into the hands of readers remains a challenge.

The odds of writing a memoir that sells can feel pretty overwhelming.

But readers love stories they can connect with and we all have a story to share.

How can we honor these stories?

Here are six tips I’ve learned to counteract these odds and honor the story within:

Tip #1: Connect with your purpose for writing.

         Be clear about why you want to write your story. Do you want to leave a legacy for your grandchildren or are you determined to seek mainstream publication? Either way is fine. You just need to be clear on your purpose.

Connecting with your purpose for writing the story only you can tell, allows you to have a story to tell.

Tip #2: Put your inner critic in his/her place.

         We all have that nagging voice inside that tells us we can’t write; no one will be interested in our story and who cares anyway? Find a way to silence that voice so you can get on with the work of writing. I wrote out this dialogue with my inner critic which helped me.

Tip #3: Find your authentic voice.

         Keep writing until you find the story that is begging to be told and once you find it, believe in it. I found this to be the most challenging part. Once I started writing vignettes, the story unfolded and took on a life of its own. I found my voice through writing and rewriting.

Tip #4: Commit to excellence in every step of the process.

         Study your craft and seek professional guidance along the way—writing mentors, editors, publishing experts (traditional and self-publishing), marketing experts. You can always do it yourself if you know what is expected in each phase of the process and are sure you can meet these expectations with excellence.

Tip #5: Develop a tough skin:

         Be open to having your work critiqued honestly and constructively by readers and writers you respect. Rejection is part of the process. Figure out a way to get over it and get on with the work at hand. Here are two links about not giving up:

• “Don’t Give Up” Seth Godin’s blog
• “7 Steps for Handling Rejection” on Charlotte Dixon Rain’s blog

 Tip #6: Share your stories openly and often.

         Ask others –besides your family—to be beta readers for your work-in-progress. Joining Joe Bunting’s Story Cartel has been one of the wisest investments I’ve made. I recently sent my work-in-progress memoir to my second round of beta readers as a result of the encouragement received from Joe and other writers in The Story Cartel Course. I also have developed a whole new network of fellow writers and prospective readers. We help promote one another.

Do what it takes to take care of yourself so you can take care of your writing.

Honor the story within. Not only does it deserve to be told, it deserves to shine.

Kathleen's bio

Kathleen Pooler is a writer and a retired Family Nurse Practitioner who is working on a memoir and a sequel about how the power of hope through her faith in God has helped her to transform, heal, and transcend life’s obstacles and disappointments:  domestic abuse, divorce, single parenting, loving, and letting go of an alcoholic son, cancer and heart failure to live a life of joy and contentment. She believes that hope matters and that we are all strengthened and enlightened when we share our stories.

            

She blogs weekly at her Memoir Writer’s Journey blog: http://krpooler.com and can be found on Twitter @kathypooler and on LinkedIn, Google+, Goodreads and Facebook: Kathleen Pooler

            

One of her stories “The Stone on the Shore” is published in the anthology: “The Woman I’ve Become: 37 Women Share Their Journeys From Toxic Relationships to Self-Empowerment” by Pat LaPointe, 2012. Another story: “Choices and Chances” is published in the mini-anthology: “My Gutsy Story” by Sonia Marsh, 2012.

Meet master-networker, Sonia Marsh

I'm delighted to host Sonia Marsh, author of Freeways to Flip-Flops, today. I got the opportunity to ask her several questions about her writing and publishing experience.  As you'll read from Sonia's answers, she is a master networker. I have learned an immense amount from her. Plus Sonia is very generous about imparting her wisdom. If you are thinking about self-publishing, and even if you have a publisher, take some tips from Sonia about how to market your book. 

I believe you formed your own publishing company for the release of your book. Why did you decide to do that rather than go the traditional publishing route?

Like most writers. I was hoping to get a traditional publisher; in fact a small traditional publisher loved the premise of my story and kept asking me to show my manuscript. I knew it wasn’t ready, but after her third request, I finally e-mailed it to her. She agreed it needed more work, and a year later, she asked to see it again.

It still wasn’t quite ready, but I let her read it a second time. She then rejected my manuscript and said the story was not what she had hoped for. I was focusing on my son’s defiance, rather than on the adventure of moving to Belize.

With indie-publishing becoming more popular, I finally got the courage to “listen” to the advice I’d received from various agents and editors, and ended up with a story I felt was commercial.

Prior to your book release in September, how did you prepare? What marketing tools did you set up?

I read several books, including: Get Known Before the Book Deal, by Christina Katz, as well as PR and marketing articles online.

I read that it’s important to have short-term and long-term goals and to have a marketing plan, and I tried that, but that’s not the way I work. I’m far more spontaneous, and less organized than most of my author friends. I’m more of a people person, a networker who likes to chat and get to know others.

Several years before my book was ready, I followed a couple of local journalists, and purchased their books at their events. I always told them that I was writing a book and was fortunate that they were interested in my story about chucking it all, and uprooting my family to live in a hut in Belize.

Then I stayed in touch with them, on Facebook, commenting etc. I would ask them for help when my book came out. Would they please review it, or let me know who might be interested in reading it, and interviewing me.

I think I enjoy planting seeds all over the place, and after a while, those seeds sprout and people start contacting me.

What are you doing now to promote your book?

I’m booking as many events as I can at:

Indie book stores

Coffee shops

Book clubs

Libraries

Speaking engagements

Women’s groups 

I also network weekly with other bloggers, authors, coaches, and women’s groups, and ask them for ideas as to where I can speak.

Tell us a little about your writing life and your decision to write a book about your life in Belize? Did you write while you were there or after you came back to California?

When I first told a couple of close friends that we might move to Belize with our kids, they said, “Wow, Sonia, that’s pretty “gutsy,” you should write a book about that.

I’d never written before, although during high school, I had thought about becoming a journalist. So I started a journal about a year before we left so I could capture all the events, including my kids’ comments, my emotions at the time, and real dialogue to make it read and sound authentic.

When I returned to California, I thought it would be easy to turn my journal into a memoir, and had no clue about structuring a memoir. I never realized how much work it would take, which is probably a good thing, looking back on it.

What kind of support (editing, graphic design, proof reading, etc. ) did you get while creating and publishing your book?

Like many first time writers, I thought my memoir was ready after my first couple of drafts. In fact, I revised the first three chapters about five times, the next ten chapters, about three times, and the remaining 50% of the memoir was still in journal format, when I hired my first editor.

I then realized how much work I still had to do, to create a commercial memoir. The editor did give me one positive piece of news, “You’re a very likable narrator, which is not something you see in many memoirs today.” I thought that was a strange comment, but I was flattered anyway.

After attending several writers’ conferences, classes and critique groups, I rewrote several times and then hired another editor who specializes in story structure. After rewriting several more times, I then hired a copy editor, and finally a proof reader. So that’s four editors in total.

As far as formatting and cover design, I wanted it to look professional, so I did my research and ended up with 1106 Design, that specializes in book design.

What has been the world’s response to your book so far? Are sales going well? Have you gotten good reviews?

I sent out 100 ARC’s (Advance Reader Copies) to bloggers, journalists, potential endorsers, before my book release date and was fortunate to get 33 positive reviews (only one negative) and we all know that one grumpy person who isn’t happy with his/her life. I also managed to get some articles in the local press, and the front cover of the Orange County Register.

I’m not keeping track of sales on a daily basis as I focus more on booking events and spreading the news about my book. Sales will follow. I did receive my first royalty payment from Amazon and I also sell books at my weekly events.

Tell us about your next writing project if you have one.

I am putting together an anthology of the “My Gutsy Story” series on my blog and plan to host an event inviting all those who submitted to attend. I would like to make it special, and have a famous “Gutsy” person attend.

As far as writing another memoir, I’d love to join the Peace Corps, and write about other people and what I experience in Africa. I speak fluent French, and would like to be sent to another third world country and focus on the lives of the locals.

About Sonia: I can definitely attest to Sonia being a gutsy woman. And I relate to her life in Belize since our family lived on a Pacific Island for a year and a half. I'm just sorry I never wrote a book about it.

Sonia Marsh is a “Gutsy” woman who can pack her carry-on and move to another country in one day. She’s a motivational speaker who inspires her audiences to get out of their comfort zone and take a risk. She says everyone has a “My Gutsy Story”; some just need a little help to uncover theirs. Her story, told in her travel memoir Freeways to Flip-Flops: A Family’s Year of Gutsy Living on a Tropical Island, is about chucking it all and uprooting her family to reconnect on an island in Belize.

Sonia has lived in many countries – Denmark, Nigeria, France, England, the U.S. and Belize – Sonia Marsh considers herself a citizen of the world. She holds a degree in environmental science from the University of East Anglia, U.K., and now lives in Southern California with her husband, Duke.

Sonia welcomes new friends, bloggers, writers and readers at Soniamarsh.com (http://soniamarsh.com) Contact her at: sonia@soniamarsh.com www.facebook.com/GutsyLiving or Twitter.com@GutsyLiving