Wonderful memoir writing advice from Kathy Pooler

Kathleen Pooler was guest here last November and happily agreed to bring her memoir writing wisdom back again. Please welcome Kathleen to Choices. I'm sure you're like me and can't wait to read her memoir once it's launched.

I look forward to your reading Kathleen's six writing tips.

Six Tips for Honoring the Story Within: A Memoir Writer’s Challenge

By Kathleen Pooler

“Your sacred place is where you find yourself again and again.” 

Joseph Campbell

Writing a memoir is hard work.

I know because I have been writing mine for the past four years.

That’s not counting the vignettes I started writing about thirteen years ago and the journaling I’ve done since I was a preteen. But I didn’t get serious about my memoir writer’s journey until 2009 when I started memoir writing workshops and started attending regional and national writing conferences.

It’s very humbling to learn what you don’t know, and when I started out, I knew nothing about writing a memoir. I only knew I had a story inside me I wanted to write about it.

It’s a well-known fact in memoir writing circles that writing a memoir is a daunting task fraught with many challenges, not the least being:

* Excavating painful memories

* Standing in your truth

* Dealing with family members or close friends who may not agree with your      perception of the truth.

All that on top of a market that says you have to be a celebrity to sell your story. Granted, some of this is changing with digital publishing but the fact still remains—getting your memoir into the hands of readers remains a challenge.

The odds of writing a memoir that sells can feel pretty overwhelming.

But readers love stories they can connect with and we all have a story to share.

How can we honor these stories?

Here are six tips I’ve learned to counteract these odds and honor the story within:

Tip #1: Connect with your purpose for writing.

         Be clear about why you want to write your story. Do you want to leave a legacy for your grandchildren or are you determined to seek mainstream publication? Either way is fine. You just need to be clear on your purpose.

Connecting with your purpose for writing the story only you can tell, allows you to have a story to tell.

Tip #2: Put your inner critic in his/her place.

         We all have that nagging voice inside that tells us we can’t write; no one will be interested in our story and who cares anyway? Find a way to silence that voice so you can get on with the work of writing. I wrote out this dialogue with my inner critic which helped me.

Tip #3: Find your authentic voice.

         Keep writing until you find the story that is begging to be told and once you find it, believe in it. I found this to be the most challenging part. Once I started writing vignettes, the story unfolded and took on a life of its own. I found my voice through writing and rewriting.

Tip #4: Commit to excellence in every step of the process.

         Study your craft and seek professional guidance along the way—writing mentors, editors, publishing experts (traditional and self-publishing), marketing experts. You can always do it yourself if you know what is expected in each phase of the process and are sure you can meet these expectations with excellence.

Tip #5: Develop a tough skin:

         Be open to having your work critiqued honestly and constructively by readers and writers you respect. Rejection is part of the process. Figure out a way to get over it and get on with the work at hand. Here are two links about not giving up:

• “Don’t Give Up” Seth Godin’s blog
• “7 Steps for Handling Rejection” on Charlotte Dixon Rain’s blog

 Tip #6: Share your stories openly and often.

         Ask others –besides your family—to be beta readers for your work-in-progress. Joining Joe Bunting’s Story Cartel has been one of the wisest investments I’ve made. I recently sent my work-in-progress memoir to my second round of beta readers as a result of the encouragement received from Joe and other writers in The Story Cartel Course. I also have developed a whole new network of fellow writers and prospective readers. We help promote one another.

Do what it takes to take care of yourself so you can take care of your writing.

Honor the story within. Not only does it deserve to be told, it deserves to shine.

Kathleen's bio

Kathleen Pooler is a writer and a retired Family Nurse Practitioner who is working on a memoir and a sequel about how the power of hope through her faith in God has helped her to transform, heal, and transcend life’s obstacles and disappointments:  domestic abuse, divorce, single parenting, loving, and letting go of an alcoholic son, cancer and heart failure to live a life of joy and contentment. She believes that hope matters and that we are all strengthened and enlightened when we share our stories.

            

She blogs weekly at her Memoir Writer’s Journey blog: http://krpooler.com and can be found on Twitter @kathypooler and on LinkedIn, Google+, Goodreads and Facebook: Kathleen Pooler

            

One of her stories “The Stone on the Shore” is published in the anthology: “The Woman I’ve Become: 37 Women Share Their Journeys From Toxic Relationships to Self-Empowerment” by Pat LaPointe, 2012. Another story: “Choices and Chances” is published in the mini-anthology: “My Gutsy Story” by Sonia Marsh, 2012.

Please meet Kathleen Pooler

I’m so happy to introduce my guest today, Kathleen Pooler. Her discussion of the sensory details needed to bring readers into our scenes is spot on. Please click on all the links Kathy provides for very powerful examples.

            

      The Power of Sensory Details in Memoir Writing 

by Kathleen Pooler

       "Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart." 

William Wordsworth

Photo Credit: "Off Yellow" by Steve Sorrell uploaded from Flickr

It's a well-known expectation in writing circles that the key to a compelling read is to use the five senses – sight, hearing, touch, smell, taste – to invite the reader into the scene. What better way to evoke emotions than to enable the reader to see the setting sun behind the snow-laced trees or to see a character's facial expression and the color of his eyes, to hear the calmness in his voice, to feel the softness of his skin, to smell the aroma of baking bread then to taste the steaming bread as the butter melts into it...

When I have an idea for a story, I'll admit, I begin recounting the scene as I remember it. The problem with that has been, I forget that the reader wasn't there. I have to remember, if I care about involving my reader, to stop, slow down and find ways to bring the reader closer to my experience.

Through the constructive feedback of many mentors and fellow writers over the past few years, I have learned about the importance of using sensory details to evoke emotions, both as a reader and as a writer.

And there's no better way to learn about writing than to read many different books. Here's an excerpt from a fascinating novel by Elizabeth Kostava,The Swan Thieves (a psychiatrist with an interest in painting tries to unlock the secrets that torment his patient, a renowned painter) which illustrates the power of sensory details:

"Well," I said, and my boldness alarmed me because deep down I knew-I knew-that it was not me, that it was inspired entirely by Robert's presence and the way he was gazing into my face. "Well, I think this is where you invite me to come home and look at your etchings."

He began to laugh, His eyes lit up, and his generous, ugly, sensuous mouth brimmed with laughter. He slapped his knee. "Exactly. Will you come home with me now and see my etchings."

Through Kostava's sensory detail, I am transported into this scene. It is being in the moment with these characters, feeling the awkwardness and excitement that keeps me turning the pages. I look forward to reuniting with the story each day and have the sense that this story will linger in my mind long after I finish the book.

Now, don't we all want to write stories that will evoke emotions in our readers?

Here are a few enlightening resources I'd like to share that elaborate on how to accomplish this:

L.L. Barkat, Managing Editor of High Calling.Org and author of Rumors of Water: Thoughts on Creativity and Writing, reinforces in this blog post "6 Things Your Writing Must Have to Wow Readers" that "the best writing activity revolves around the same six emotions ~Anger, Love, Sorrow, Joy, Fear and Surprise." She advises us to "use solid details to create a very clear picture while leaving something uncertain to have some intrigue."

And here's another eloquent post by L.L. Barkat, "Feel Your Way Through Words" on her blog, Seedlings in Stone, about capturing the sensory details in the moment and weaving them into our own story.

Memoir coach, Jerry Waxler, of Memory Writer's Network posted an excellent interview with Indian writer, Bhaswati Ghosh. Treat yourself to her story, "Love in Hyderabad," a beautifully written escapade into her culture, her city and her experience of falling in love.

I am learning to pay attention to my surroundings in the moment, to notice the details that make the difference both in what I am reading and in what I am writing. I guess there really is something to the adage, "the devil is in the details." Getting in touch with the details will be the first step in using them to bring my story alive to my reader.

I have recently discovered an excellent resource for describing emotions  called The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Character Expression by Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi.

How do the details work for you? Do you feel you are able to evoke emotions through sensory details in your writing? What stories still linger with you long after you finish reading or writing them?

Let's talk~

Photo Credit: "Evoking Emotions" uploaded from Google Free Images

About Kathleen Pooler: I also met Kathy on a Google+ hangout about memoir writing. And it was "like at first sight" for both of us. How could it not, just look at her beautiful smile.

Kathleen Pooler is a writer and a retired Family Nurse Practitioner who is working on a memoir about how the power of hope through her faith in God has helped her to transform, heal and transcend life’s obstacles and disappointments: divorce, single parenting, loving and letting go of an alcoholic son, cancer, and heart failure to live a life of joy and contentment. She believes that hope matters and that we are all strengthened and enlightened when we share our stories.

She blogs weekly at her Memoir Writer’s Journey blog: http://krpooler.com and can be found on Twitter @kathypooler and on LinkedIn, Google+, Goodreads and Facebook: Kathleen Pooler

         

One of her stories, “The Stone on the Shore,” is published in the anthology: “The Woman I’ve Become: 37 Women Share Their Journeys From Toxic Relationships to Self-Empowerment” by Pat LaPointe.