Showing posts with label Naturally Savvy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Naturally Savvy. Show all posts

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Ten ways to reinvent yourself after sixty


I am Naturally Savvy’s Over Sixty Expert, contributing about an article a month at the website. This piece was originally published on March 31, 2013. Please go there to read more of my articles on topics relevant to women over sixty. I love exploring ways for us to keep moving, keep working, keep creating, keep experiencing life to the fullest no matter how old we are.

I first heard of the term reinvention when I entered “More” magazine’s February 2010 Reinvention story contest. My story about how I returned to work outside my home and began to write regularly after the suicide death of my son came in eleventh in the number of votes received out of over 500 entries. With that, the term reinvention became part of my vocabulary. I write about it frequently.

Nora Ephron said it’s good for women to reinvent themselves every ten years. She also said reinvention seems easier for women than for men. And I agree. In fact, seven years after I went back to work full time, I retired and reinvented myself again. I now have a wonderful career as a poet, author, and web journalist – finally doing the work I aspired to do way back in high school and college.

Nora Ephron, one of my heroes 
who left us much too early

Other ways we can reinvent ourselves – some experienced myself; some by people I know.
  1. Retire entirely and move to an area of the country geared to the over fifty-five and sixty crowd – then spend your days playing golf or tennis, gardening, painting or other creative outlet, and reading. We have friends who live in Palm Desert, California who love their busy retired social lives. 
  2. Move to another country – this is on my list. I very much want to live in Italy for six months to a year. I love the people, food, places that are all easily accessible by train. As soon as I can get my husband to decide to reinvent himself into a real retired person, we’re going.
  3. Get a divorce – this is not on my list, but friends got a divorce after a thirty-five year marriage and raising two sons. But the kicker here it that she decided to leave her marriage for a woman. She finally came out as the woman she always was. I understand this happens a lot with women over sixty.
  4. Get married – I’m not looking to do this either, but I do know some folks who have or who are getting ready to have a late-in-life marriage. One woman was divorced for a long time, and she recently found her second husband online. And this man is a great catch. Our next-door neighbor whose wife died a couple of years also found a match online. They’ve been together for almost a year, and she just moved in with him. I can hear the faint sounds of wedding bells already.
  5. Volunteer – I’ve always gotten so much personal value from volunteering. I suggest doing something you’ve always wanted to do anyway, and I guarantee you won’t mind not being paid. The satisfaction of doing good works is worth way more than the money. And by the way, being a volunteer or an intern is likely to be a stepping-stone to a paying job in the same organization.
  6. Care for aging parents – I know someone who left her job, moved in with her mother, and took care of her during her escalating dementia leading to her death. And she ended up writing a wonderful book about it. Sounds like there is always a pony lurking around in our piles of muck.
  7. Change your body image – Changing behavior is tantamount to changing your body. Get off of the couch, eat healthy, take a walk, ride your bike, go to the gym to do some weigh-bearing exercises, try some Yoga or Pilates, and drink lots of water. The chips and beer won’t cut it anymore.
  8. Become computer and Internet/social network savvy – get a smart phone, learn how to text, look up stuff on Google, join Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Pinterest. You’d be surprised how many over sixty-year olds don’t know the first thing about getting around on the Internet. When I told a woman my age the best way to get her grandson to respond was to text him, she looked at me like I was nuts. But she finally learned, and now he gets back to her.
  9. Write a book – journaling, taking writing workshops, going on writing retreats became my therapy after my son’s death, at first never dreaming that I would have the makings of a book. When one of my instructors and classmates encouraged me to get my story out, I finally took the steps needed to put a book together. It took a long time, but in the end I’m glad I did. I reinvented myself from a technical writer and editor to a published author and poet. I couldn’t be happier.
  10. Start a website and blog Believe me that will change your life. You’ll be tied to your deadlines – even if they are self-inflicted, and you’ll always be looking for ideas for interesting things to write about. This blog Choices, my first foray into blogging, has been active since 2007. It is a lot of fun and quite a challenge. Now I write regularly for several other websites, including Naturally Savvy. It is why I can call myself a web journalist.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Late breaking book news



It’s time to bring you up to date with book news. It seems like things are moving so fast, I barely have time to do my novel and article writing. But it’s all good.

Books for Sale
As of yesterday the Kindle version of Leaving the Hall Light On is for sale. The paperback has been available for the last month or so. And in case you still like hardback books as I do, I have them for sale at my Amazon storefront at a reduced price of $21.50.

Marketing Events
Book giveaway at Goodreads. Hurry over there. It ends on August 28.

Google + Hangouts with Jason Matthews: Indie Authors #21 on Memoir Writing and Indie Authors # 24 on Writing as Therapy. I’ll participate in another hangout next Monday, August 27.

A September 13 roundtable with Linda Joy Myers of the National Association of Memoir Writers and Mike O’Mary of Dream of Things to talk about how I was able to contract with Dream of Things after my former publisher went out of business.

Readings at the Essay Fiesta and Waterline Writers and an interview on Rick Kogan's talk show on WGN radio – all taking place in Chicago in mid September (details to follow). Why Chicago? I grew up there and that’s where my publisher, Dream of Things, is headquartered. A great excuse to go back to my hometown.

And I’m scheduling a new blog tour to take place between October 1 and December 31. I’m so excited that many of the blogs that hosted me last year will host again during this tour. If you are interested in joining in, here are the details:

The Tour
The tour is open from October 1 to December 31, 2012. You can pick any date that works for you. And you can participate in one of three ways:
A.    Post a review of the book on your blog. 
B.    Post a Q&A with me using up to six questions from the list, below.
C.    Post a description of my book and conduct a contest to give away a free copy to one of your followers. (You can also hold a contest in conjunction with options A or B, if you like.)

If you would like to participate in the blog tour, please respond to this e-mail and let me know if you would like a print copy, a .mobi file (for Kindle), an .epub file (for Nook, iPad and other e-readers), or a PDF file. (The Kindle edition has just been released.)

Also, if you choose Option B (Q&A with me), let me know which questions you’d like me to address.
  
--
The Book
Leaving the Hall Light On: A Mother's Memoir of Living with Her Son's Bipolar Disorder and Surviving His Suicide charts the near-destruction of one middle-class family whose oldest son committed suicide after a seven-year struggle with bipolar disorder. Author Madeline Sharples goes deep into her own well of grief to describe her anger, frustration and guilt. She also shares the story of how she, her husband and younger son weathered every family's worst nightmare—including struggles with her own thoughts of suicide, and ultimately, her decision to live and take care of herself as a woman, wife, mother and writer.
·       "A moving read of tragedy, trying to prevent it, and coping with life after." Midwest Book Review
·       "Poetically visceral, emotionally honest." Irvin D. Godofsky, M.D.
·       "Moving, intimate and very inspiring." Mark Shelmerdine, CEO, Jeffers Press
The book is also available through my publisher, Dream of Things.
The Author
Madeline Sharples is an author, poet, and web journalist who spent most of her professional life as a technical writer and editor, grant writer and proposal manager. Through the tragedy of her son’s mental illness and suicide, she has become a thought-provoking expert on the affects of mental illness and suicide on family members—and, more important, on how to keep the surviving members of your family together and move forward in the aftermath of tragedy.

Questions for Option B, online Q&A with me (please select a maximum of six questions):
1.     What does the title of the book mean?
2.     What were the warning signs when your son first began to experience symptoms of bipolar disorder?
3.     How difficult was it for you to get your son to seek treatment and take medication for his illness?
4.     How do you give support and comfort to a person who doesn’t want support or comfort?
5.     How did you maintain your sanity after your son’s suicide?
6.     Did your marriage suffer as a result of your son’s bipolar disorder and suicide?
7.     How have you seen the stigma of mental illness and suicide play out in your life?
8.     What can a person do to help and comfort a family that has experienced a suicide or other tragedy?
9.     How did your elder son’s illness and suicide affect your thoughts toward your younger son?
10.  One of the ways you dealt with your personal tragedy is by writing about it. How did that help you?
11.  Who should read your book?
12.  What advice do you have for families that have been affected by mental illness or suicide?


And that doesn’t count my blogging, tweeting, Facebook posting, occasionally visiting LinkedIn and Pinterest, and writing for PsychAlive, Naturally Savvy, Open to Hope, and a new gig starting this month at Aging Bodies.


Monday, August 13, 2012

A rant about junk food


I was definitely heartened to read this story today. It is a great positive step to curbing the childhood obesity epidemic.

CHICAGO (AP) — Laws strictly curbing school sales of junk food and sweetened drinks may play a role in slowing childhood obesity, according to a study that seems to offer the first evidence such efforts could pay off.

Please click the link to read the whole story.

In fact while I was at my poetry workshop at Esalen in Big Sur, CA last month I wrote a rant about junk food – triggered by the word junk, one of a list of ten given in a daily prompt.  (See the Scary Seven at the bottom of this post, courtesy of Naturally Savvy.)

A picture prettier than the rant 
(the Big Sur coast)

Here’s the rant:

Junk food is a business.
Junk food is an addiction
Eating junk food is an epidemic

Can you imagine that recent studies
show that obesity in children
is not related to their
consumption of junk food
in the schools?

Can you imagine
they say children form
their eating habits at home,
so why worry about limiting
their junk food consumption
outside the home?

Can you imagine why?
Of course, you guessed it.
The schools get a profit –
probably a huge profit
from those ubiquitous vending machines
that spit forth,
with the drop of a few coins,
a constant supply of
high-sugar soft drinks, chocolate bars,  
chocolate chip cookies, and chips.
You name it, if it’s junk, it’s there.

The food hustlers entice school management
to allow them to put the machines on their sites
in exchange for bonuses.
The food hustlers are only
about selling and money.
The food hustlers could care less
about healthy children.

And then on top of all that
these poor children eat
burgers dripping with cheese
or pizza practically every night
for dinner at home.
So the problem is not only in the schools.
Their mothers are too busy
or too uninformed
to make them a proper meal.

Just go to any school at noon
and see those little chubby guys
stuffing their faces
instead of moving their butts
out in the playground.

How astonishing that parents and teachers
allow this behavior.
The children eat and binge
binge and eat.
until they become
a generation that will not survive
long enough to become viable adults.
They will be too sick with heart problems
and diabetes to work and have a family,

We need to act.
We need to take the plunge
and get that junk stuff out of the school
and off our pantry shelves
Neither our families nor our nation
can afford to do anything less.


Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Birthday post mortem or how I'm moving forward


Just about a year ago – on Mother’s Day and near my last birthday  – I achieved a huge goal. My memoir, Leaving the Hall Light On, A Mother’s Memoir of Living with her Son’s Bipolar Disorder and Surviving His Suicide, was published. In it I tell the steps I took in living with the loss of my son. First and foremost I chose to live and take care of myself as a woman, wife, mother, writer.


In hopes that my story will inspire others to find ways to survive their own tragic experiences, I’ve devoted most of this last year marketing my book. I have become increasingly more engaged in social networking, through Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Pinterest, I had a blog tour through Women on Writing (WOW), radio interviews, and many speaking and book signing engagements.
I’ve also embarked on a whole new writing career – writing for the Huffington Post That’s Fit and Healthy Living columns, the Naturally Savvy website as its over sixty expert, PsychAlive, a website that focuses on suicide prevention, and just recently contributing to Open to Hope, a wonderful site near and dear to me that looks to finding hope after loss.  
Since my publisher, Lucky Press, decided to cease doing business this past April 30, marketing my book has become more of a priority for me. But, what has been so encouraging is all the help and suggestions I’ve received from the relations I’ve made through my social networks. I never would have believed how close some of us have become.
Though I suspect that I’ll be involved in making next-step decisions for another couple of months at least – about going the self publishing route or continuing to try to find a traditional publisher to reissue my book – I know I will continue with the mission that has slowing and surely evolved through the years since my son died: erasing the stigma of mental illness and suicide in the hopes of saving lives.
I’ve also had a huge surprise this year. Little did I know that I’d become a published author, poet, and web journalist at this stage in my life. I’ve found that I’m definite proof at age 72 that it is never too late for opportunities to reinvent our lives.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

I'm querying again


Well, I’ve already sent out mini query letters to a couple of recommended prospective publishers. I’ve included information about my book and links to sample chapters of my memoir Leaving the Hall Light On, and I’ve told them I’ll have all the files in native QuarkXpress and pdf. So if they want to add my book to their portfolios it should be a slam-dunk. Plus I’m not interested in another hardback run. I would prefer a paperback and/or e-book.

I've also made a little pitch about my current writing work with links to my blogs Choices and Red Room, and to the PsychAlive and Naturally Savvy websites, where I blog every month. 

And now the waiting begins.

I hate this part. The querying and waiting.



I thought I wouldn’t have to do it again until I’m ready to market my novel.

And, now I wonder if it is even worth it. 

Readers, I need your advice on this one. Should I even try to find a new publisher or should I just go ahead and self-publish?

What do you think?