Missing Paul

What I Miss

Eleven years didn’t erase him.

He is still with me everyday.

The memories haven’t dimmed.

His face, his body, his buzzed hair

are clearly visible in my mind.

I miss his sounds,

hearing him play

his music

as his bent fingers

lightly trickled up

and down the keyboard,

hearing his footsteps

on the stairs,

on the hardwood floors

as he prowled

around the house at night,

hearing his deep voice

as he said, “hello”

when he came home from work

I also miss his expertise.

He’d work on our computer problems at night

and leave carefully written instructions

in childish printing

for us to find the next morning.

I don’t miss his smoking,

I don’t miss his bad moods

during his last few years,

I don’t miss that his sickness

sometimes made him angry

and me angry at him.

No, I don’t miss those things.

But, I don’t think about them.

I just think about the things about him

that I miss.

Here's information everyone should know about. We certainly didn't.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

If  you feeling desperate, alone or hopeless, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), a free, 24-hour hotline available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. Call for yourself or someone you care about. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is:

• Free and confidential
• A network of more than 140 crisis centers nationwide
• Available 24/7

For more information and how to get involved go to:

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/