My writing life in 2012

Writing became a way to live with my son Paul’s bipolar disorder and to survive his suicide as a result. However, I never dreamed it would become my way of life. I still cannot get through the day without writing something. However, in the last few years it has become more than a balm to ease the pain. It has become a joy and a way to meet and interact with some very wonderful writing friends. 

Like writing, I can never have enough Buddhas
(Richard Stock photo)

With that in mind, I thought I write down a few of the highlights of my writing life from 2012, starting with my first publisher’s decision to go out of business. At first I was indeed devastated and then so angry. She closed down with four days warning and cut off our websites even before that. But the devastation and anger were very short lived. I reached out to a few writing friends – especially Keith Alan Hamilton – and got some suggestions about where to query. However, my dear friend and mentor Mark Shelmerdine came through for me yet again. He suggested Mike O’Mary of Dream of Things and within two weeks after I contacted Mike, we had a publishing deal. And I couldn’t be happier with this connection. He produced paperback and eBook editions, began a huge marketing campaign, and scheduled a group of readings and a radio show in Chicago in September. That gave me the opportunity to meet Dina Kucera, another author on the Dream of Things list. Her book Everything I Never Wanted to Be is a sad and funny and heartwarming tour de force.

I also joined a few other Facebook writing groups besides the couple of poetry groups I have been in for the last few years. The National Association of Memoir Writers, Gutsy Indie Publishers, Write Your Life Story, Writing Wranglers, Rabble Writers, to name a few.  Also through Mike’s suggestion that I join Help a Reporter Out (HARO), I got a monthly “paying” writing gig on a site called Aging Bodies and connected with Meryl Hertstein who created Bounce Back Women and is planning an anthology of women who faced adversity and their bounce back stories. Other writing organizations I got involved in this year are Storylane, Story Circle, and She Writes. Too much for sure, but I’m never without some place to submit my words. Speaking of, I also participate in Robert Lee Brewer’s poem a day challenges in April and November and write to his weekly prompts.

Besides I continue to write for Naturally Savvy, PsychAlive, and Open to Hope, Red Room, and my own blog, plus my regular tweets and posts on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Pinterest. I wonder what more is in store for me in 2013. The writing opportunities are indeed endless.

I’ve also increased my speaking and signing engagements this year – speaking about my book, writing to heal, and writing tips in general – on NAMW, Google+ hangouts, at a couple of Great Los Angeles Writers Society-sponsored writer’s conferences, and a wonderful evening at my synagogue on a panel about surviving tragedies – plus participating in the GLAWS booth actually selling and signing at the LA Times Festival of Books and the West Hollywood Book Fair.

And still there is always work to do. This writing life is way more than just sitting down to write. It is so easy to see my time gobbled up with marketing activities.

Probably why I keep putting my historical novel back on the shelf. That is not to say that I’ve made no progress. I’ve gotten to over 90,000 words this year. Actually I’m not looking to write many more words but to flesh out what I have – why I’ve signed on to take a workshop in revising my novel in February at UCLA extension – one of my first formal writing activities in the new year.

It’s so easy to be a lonely writer, so going to GLAWS meetings and interacting on hangouts and roundtables, and taking classes is always a way to learn and network. And through these kinds of activities I’ve made some wonderful writing friends this year who have generously hosted me and my book during my three-month blog tour and wrote guests posts on my blog Choices. I cannot thank them enough. Makes me feel I’m not so alone – that we all have the same questions, misgivings, and thoughts about our writing. Now I know whom my go-to people are for sharing and give and take. As with everything else it takes a village to be a successful writer. I look forward to more interactions in the new year.

Thank you again, my writing friends. I appreciate and love you so much.

Book tour report

The first event was a National Association of Memoir Writers roundtable with Linda Joy Meyers on the subject of:

Keeping Your Book Alive Part I and II: Advice for authors who Need a New Publisher; Low-cost/no-cost Marketing Ideas 

I sat with Mike O’Mary, owner and publisher at, while we talked about what to do if your publisher goes out of business and what it's like to "start over" with a new publisher. And as you probably know already the loss of my original publisher was a blessing in disguise. Mike and I met for the first time just before we went on the air, and he is the dream of Dream of Things.

During the roundtable, Mike and I also talked about what it takes to promote your memoir in today's marketplace, including a variety of low-cost and no-cost ideas that any author can use to promote his/her book. Here’s the link to this roundtable. Mike has a wealth of information about ways to promote your book.

Mike orchestrated the next four book tour events for his other memoir author, Dina Kucera, (Everything I Never Wanted To Be), and me.

We each read last Saturday night at the Chicago Writer’s Association’s Essay Fiesta (part of the weekend's Chicago Writers Conference) in a banquet room at the Rock Bottom Restaurant and Brewery in downtown Chicago. It was first time meeting Dina as well, and it was love at first site. There were six other non-fiction authors reading at this event.

The next three events were on Sunday, starting at seven in the morning with a WGN radio chat on the Sunday Papers with Rick Kogan. We had no idea in advance about what he’d ask, so Mike, Dina, and I just talked with Rick like we’ve known each other forever. And, having just listened to the show, I think it turned out pretty well. Plus, Rick kept plugging our books throughout. How bad could that be?

We all went to breakfast afterward and then Dina and her husband, John, and my husband, Bob, and I took an hour-long architectural cruise on the Chicago River. The architecture is wonderful – the tour guide not so much. I felt like he was doing an hour-long non-stop performance piece. He even played harmonica for us at the end. Plus it was very hot.

Sears Tower in the back

Sunday afternoon we spoke to a group at the Open Books Bookstore – also in downtown Chicago. I’m originally from Chicago and this venue is not very far from where my dad had his textile business. Since only Dina and I appeared we had time to read twenty minutes or so each.

And the last event, Sunday night, was held in a western Chicago suburb, Batavia – forty minutes from downtown at the impressive Water Street Art Studios. In all the years I lived in the Chicago area, I had never heard of Batavia. We were part of a group of five who read poems and nonfiction. A video of a theatrical piece closed the event. Waterline Writers holds these events on the third Sunday of every month. 

Mike best describes how each of these readings went for me:

“I have seen Madeline Sharples read from her memoir and talk about her son's suicide at multiple events. Afterwards, people always come up to Madeline to tell her "My son killed himself too" or "My husband committed suicide," etc. Sometimes the people can't even talk. They are in tears, and they just want to hold Madeline's hand for a minute or ask for a hug. Clearly, there are a lot of people who have experienced the suicide of a loved one. And clearly, they don't have many opportunities to share their grief. That's why they are quick to embrace Madeline when they hear her story. They connect, and they always thank her for sharing her story.”

Not only is Mike a super publisher and book marketer, he is an eloquent writer. I thank him immensely for arranging this tour and great opportunity to share my memoir, Leaving the Hall Light On with others.

Suicide Prevention Day - Monday, September 10

In honor of Suicide Prevention Day, my publisher Mike O'Mary of Dream of Things is offering free Kindle copies of my memoir, Leaving the Hall Light On: A Mother's Memoir of Living with Her Son's Suicide and Surviving His Suicide. Here's what he says:

Hello Friends!

I have a couple of updates for you...

First of all, next Monday, September 10, is Worldwide Suicide Prevention Day, and on September 8, 9 & 10, Amazon will be giving away free copies of the Kindle edition of Madeline Sharples’ Leaving the Hall Light On. 

Madeline’s memoir is an informative and inspiring
story about the circumstances surrounding her son’s suicide, and about how she and her family have been affected. Here’s what Fran Edstrom of the American Association of Suicidology had to say:

"Sharples tells it like it is, baring her soul to the reader. In doing so, she allows the reader to address and ponder the usually unspoken side of coping with mental illness and suicide. I recommend this book
to suicide survivors and to mental health professionals. Sharples is much more honest about what it is like to survive suicide than most patients and clients allow themselves to be.”

Also, for those of you in the Chicago area, I want to invite you to meet Madeline and Dina Kucera, author of Everything I Never Wanted to Everything I Never Wanted To Be, when they come to Chicago on September 16 to be guests on WGN’s “The Sunday Papers” with Rick Kogan. That afternoon, they will be at Open Books in the River North area of Chicago, and that evening they will be at Waterline Writers in Batavia. The Waterline Writers event will also feature Robin Metz (winner of the Rainer Maria Rilke International Poetry Award), Adrienne Novy and Frank Rutledge in a reading/discussion titled “Loss and Profit: Writing from Personal Tragedy.”

Both events are free and open to the public. For more information, click on the following links:

 Sun Sept 16, 2 pm: Open Books, Chicago, IL - info on Facebook
<http://www.facebook.com/#!/events/108587342626541/>
 or Eventbrite <http://newmemoirs.eventbrite.com/>

 Sun Sept 16, 7 pm: Waterline Writers, Batavia, IL - info on Facebook
<http://www.facebook.com/#!/events/259069697529406/>
 or at WaterlineWriters.org <http://www.waterlinewriters.org/>

If you are NOT in the Chicago area, you can see video of the Waterline Writers event at WaterlineWriters.org a few days after the event.

Thanks!

Mike O’Mary

Thanks so much, Mike, for all that you do.

My paperback launch is August 6

Since Dream of Things will launch the paperback edition of Leaving the Hall Light On: A Mother’s Memoir of Living with Her Son’s Bipolar Disorder and Surviving His Suicide this Monday, August 6, I thought I’d share the newest reviews posted on Amazon in the last three weeks.

They are all five-star.

I couldn’t be happier about the wonderful response to my memoir. I hope these reviews will entice you to read the book yourselves.

Madeline Sharples propels her readers through a startling emotional landscape of those left behind after suicide, in "Leaving the Hall Light on." Incredibly intimate and revealing….Her imagery, scenes, and movement through her family's recovery expertly nail the high art of the memoir. Ruth Belanger

It took considerable courage to write this book. Madeline Sharples describes a path from guilt and grief to recovery. Life goes on but it requires personal fortitude. Anyone who has experienced the suicide of a family member will find Madeline's story helpful. John D. Caldwell

This book takes you on an emotional journey which is gripping, frightening, and ultimately uplifting.…As their journey moves from alarm to acceptance, Madeline Sharples explains with great clarity, detail and compassion the impact that the events have on not just her as a mother, but on her entire family.…She offers us a window into the human heart and its capacity to deal with tragedy. A truly compelling book about the strength of family. Any father, mother, son, daughter, brother, or sister facing a family challenge, large or small, will find great strength, solace, and support in this courageously honest and well written book. Martin Robinson

Madeline Sharples has written a most heartfelt and courageous book about the mental illness and suicide of her son, Paul. It is amazing and touching that she could find such poetic, soulful and honest words to capture the relentless grief of a mother's love…. Alice and Richard Matzkin

As a mom, I've left the "hall light on" so many times, knowing that light would help bring my children home safely. It took great courage and incredible strength for this author to open up and share the most intimate details of her life and her story about Paul. Two thumbs up for Leaving The Hall Light On. Pat Hess

….This is not a "how to" book that tells you what to in case of a crisis in your family; it expresses Madeline's pain, frustration, and her journey to overcome the pain of losing a child….Madeline doesn't sugar coat her experience, she writes candidly about her experiences as a way to heal and to help others who face similar situations. Rae Ann Galinato

I have been friends with Madeline for many years and in fact had lunch with her a few days before her son's death.…When I heard her tragic news, probably the worst a parent can get, I wondered how she would ever cope. Her beautifully written, beautifully honest book answers that question. In a different way than she had always hoped, it nonetheless will be greatly helpful to any parent unfortunate enough to face a similar situation. Or to all of us who can benefit from an example of living with profound courage. Nancie Doughty

In this intensely personal memoir, Madeline Sharples, mother, author and poet, explains the heartbreak and loss of living and losing a son to bipolar disorder. Leaving the Hall Light On is a beautiful, haunting, yet ultimately redemptive book that will stay with the reader for a long time and carries a message of hope for others who may have been touched by the pain of mental illness….Leaving The Hall Light On serves as a beautiful love-letter to Paul. It tells him, and the reader, that his loss was not in vain, that his mother survived and found a way to live again and that she found some peace through writing. This story is a tribute to them both. Elizabeth Isenberg

….The gift that I take away from Leaving the Hall Light On is the way Madeline and her beautiful family responded to the worst tragedy any mother, father and family can endure. While it's true that Paul was bipolar and it is also true that he took his own life, what this amazing family has done is to say, that doesn't define who Paul really was as a human being. There are a million other things that describe Paul. He was a gifted musician, he was kind and caring and incredibly intelligent. He was a computer whiz and loved children. Paul loved his mother, father and his brother Ben. He fell in love and was loved back. These are the things he left behind, the evidence of a life, that Paul was so much more than his illness. What the Sharples family has done is choose not to live in the one horrific day and instead, remember the other million days. For anyone that has lost someone they love, this family can help you navigate your way through the darkness. It's clearly not easy, but it can happen. You can't have the same life, but a different, almost as good life. It is a sad but beautifully written book. Dina Kucera