Sunday, October 3, 2010

Book progress amidst thoughts about suicide

Well, now I really have my work cut out for me. I have several marked up chapters from my editors so I can complete, complete the first four chapters for sure. I also have final suggestions from my First Reader to combine several chapters -- two into one and three into one. And, right now I think I'm okay about doing that. in fact I know how to do it.

So at this point I think I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can actually see finished chapters on the horizon. I was so worried yesterday that making somce of the suggested changes would be too daunting, but after working through one today I know I’ll be okay. Plus it is my book. I can take my editor's notes or leave them. That's the advantage of my being the person with the last red pen. 

I also think of the suicide crisis we're having because of bullying. In the 11 years since my son Paul's suicide death I think the suicide rate has greatly increased (I plan to include the facts about that at the end of my book). However, we still haven't gotten over the stigma of mental illness and the need to talk about suicide prevention as much as possible - especially to our children. 

He killed himself
He took his own life
He ended his life
He released his pain
He committed suicide

There is no gentle way to say it
It is all the same.
What he did one night was
put himself in the bathtub and
slash his throat with a box cutter.
That’s what he did.
That’s the truth of it.

Calling it dying, passing away
does not change the reality
to me and his father and his brother
who cared for him and loved him
but couldn’t fix his broken mind
and keep him from his destiny -
death by suicide.

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