Remembering Paul (12-31-1971 to 09-23-1999)

I woke this morning at 4 am with a start and wondering if he was still alive at 4 am the morning we found him dead. Another thing I'll never know. At least I still have my memories of him while he was alive.


Perhaps I've posted this poem before. Even so, it is appropriate for today.


Remembering Paul

I’ll always remember he slept

without closing his eyes all the way

I’ll always remember he walked fast

and way ahead of us

I’ll always remember he had long, thick, black eyelashes

surrounding clear blue eyes

I’ll always remember he played the piano

legs crossed at the knees, leaning

way down over the keyboard

I’ll always remember he liked to wear

second-hand clothes and didn’t mind

if they were ripped

I’ll always remember he stood

at the pantry door munching almonds

I’ll always remember he liked to climb –

trees, rocks, diving boards

I’ll always remember he was meticulous and anal about his things

I’ll always remember he could play almost any tune by ear

And that he was always a loner

And how much he loved his girlfriend

and wasn’t touched enough after she left him

I’ll always remember he was sensitive

I’ll always remember he drove too fast and erratically

I’ll always remember he got lots of parking tickets

I’ll always remember he was in love with John Lennon

I’ll always remember he liked Doc Martin shoes

I’ll always remember he tapped his foot when he sat down

I’ll always remember how he sat

all folded over like The Thinker

when he drank coffee at Starbucks

I won’t ever forget the feel of his cool pale skin

the last night I saw him

Or the sound of his voice

I’ll always remember his hair was thick

I can’t forget he knew all the nursery rhymes

by the time he was two

and he said he wanted to watch a record

when he lay down on the red and black plaid couch to take a nap

I’ll always remember he and his brother

called the back of the station wagon,

“the really back”

I’ll always remember he loved to fish.