Sunday, March 16, 2008

Is it enough already?

Weird and disturbing things have been happening at work. First I had two security infractions for taking my cell phone into a classified room - twice in one day. Then I couldn’t unlock my office door – my first thought was I had been locked out. Then I couldn’t remember my password to get onto our classified system and another remote Livelink system - both on the same day. And I lost my badge. I’ve never lost my badge before. And I caught a cold – being sick is almost unheard of for me. It’s like the universe is telling me something. But, is it really my mind and body telling me it’s enough already? I need a break – a big long break - or else I can't guarantee what will happen next.

Also, I've been working with a Paul look alike - also very disturbing. Here's a poem about it:

The Look Alikes

It happens all the time.
A young guy with a brown book bag
hanging across his chest
crosses the street,
another walks on the beach smoking a cigarette,
and another sits stooped over a cup of coffee
at an outdoor café.
I do a double take.
These guys are so much like my son, Paul,
now gone for years
I feel like I know them
and they know me.

Just the other day
I knew another look-alike instantly.
I could describe his face, look, movements
with the same words
I’d use to describe Paul:
short buzzed hair, growing high off his forehead,
long sideburns,
thick and dark brows and lashes,
a round face,
and, pale, clear skin.
He has a little closed mouth smile,
like Paul’s smirk that showed a hint of a dimple,
he wears Levi jeans slung low on his hips,
and his fingers are long
with straight dark hair growing to one side
on his hands.
This guy is also about 5 feet 8 or 9
and nervous like Paul.
His foot never stops tapping the floor
when he sits down.

That he doesn’t know me makes no sense.
He looks so much like my son
he certainly should.
Instead he gives me no smile,
no friendly hello.
He looks past me,
he moves past me,
and he goes on with his life
without me in it.

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