Benefits of Writing
Your Story by Sherrey Meyer
In 2001, when my mother died, the
story of our lives together had traversed many years and battled many
storms. Yet at the end, something unusual and unexpected happened.
I tucked that memory away knowing it was possibly the core for a memoir.
When I retired in 2006, I remembered how often I had said, “When I have time, I
want to write a book.”
Little did I know when I began
accumulating my memories on the computer and sorting through family photos the
benefit writing this story would give. Never had it occurred to me that
writing could be a restorative, healing process.
With each word typed, I felt
changes taking place. The invisible scars created by years of verbal and
emotional abuse seemed to loosen. Old hurts seemed to soften despite the
painful process of remembering.
I am not here to tell you that
writing memoir is easy. It isn’t. Writing your own story may dredge up
painful memories. Alternatively, writing
your story will likely be cathartic.
Stop and think about the pain
felt due to a bad burn. The immediate remedies may not bring much
comfort, but soon each application of salve is more soothing. Writing out
painful memories can be like a balm to your soul.
Writing soothes and heals by
extracting those memories from your inner being and on the computer or
paper. No longer do those bad memories live in you. You have moved
them to another place and time outside yourself. Again, this doesn’t mean
the pain will stop completely or quickly. I still have moments when
something reminds me of a painful incident. Now, however, I go and jot it
down somewhere.
For me, I also found a letter
writing exercise to be immensely helpful. As part of my memoir, I have
written letters to my mother. In cases of abuse of any type involving a
child, the child has no voice. To express oneself in these circumstances
to the adult inflicting the abuse generally only begs further abuses. In
my life, it was verbal and emotional abuse on the part of my mother and
speaking to it only made her angrier at my attempt to stop her abuse.
Writing letters has given my
inner child and the child abused a voice. The letters have allowed me to
express feelings I suppressed along the way during my childhood, youth, young
adult and even middle years before my mother died. For an example of
these letters, you
can find them here.
Now, I am not an expert on this
topic. When I came to the realization that writing was truly helping to
heal painful memories and hurts, I began reading about the subject. I
discovered James W. Pennebaker who is an expert on this topic.
Dr. Pennebaker, a professor in
the Department of Psychology at The University of Texas at Austin and author of
several books, including Opening Up and Writing to
Heal, is a pioneer in the study of using expressive writing as a route
to healing.
Dr. Pennebaker’s research has
shown that short periods of writing benefit those facing terminal illness,
victims of violent crimes, and even the first-year college student
transitioning into a new life style. Following are some of Dr.
Pennebaker’s exercises and a quote:
Using Dr.
Pennebaker’s books, exercises and research results can help the writer
struggling with difficult and/or painful memories to work through those to some
level of healing.
Personally, I have found Dr.
Pennebaker’s methods extremely useful and highly recommend reading more about
his work here and here.
The more I write my story the
stronger the benefit becomes. My memories become less painful, the hurts
less real than before. I cannot say that I will ever forget completely
the difficulties of my early life, but I do know that I am more equipped to
deal with any recurring memories for having gone through the exercise of writing.
Perhaps you are toying with the
idea of writing but aren’t sure about such an attempt. Consider
practicing journaling first. What better place to right your
innermost thoughts and feelings than in a journal. Then, if you do decide
you want to write that book, your journal provides the perfect resource for
your writing.
Another consideration is
enrolling in a writing class or workshop where you can write your feelings as
part of assignments or exercises. Many community colleges and community
centers offer writing classes at no charge or for minimal fees. Anything
to start writing to see if it is the mechanism by which you can begin to heal
from your hurt and pain.
Not everything I’ve mentioned
works for everybody. You have to find your niche. That being said,
however, I do highly recommend visiting the sites above for more information on
Dr. Pennebaker’s research and his writings.
In addition to Dr. Pennebaker’s
books, here is a short list of other books available on writing to heal:
- Writing as a Way of Healing by Louise DeSalvo
- Writing to Heal the Soul by Susan Zimmerman
- Memoir Revolution by Jerry Waxler
- The Power of Memoir by Linda Joy Myers
- Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg and Judith Guest
Here’s your takeaway for
today. Some benefits of writing your story may be:
- Improved health, emotionally and/or physically.
- Improved immune system.
- Improved working memory.
- Improved social connections.
- Ability to check your situation.
- Manageability of situation improves.
All these benefits are available
to you in exchange for the written word.
Sherrey, thank you so much for these wise words and wonderful resources. And I so look forward to reading your memoir soon. In the meantime, please read her blogs: Healing by Writing and Found Between the Covers. Sherrey is very prolific and generous with her writing advice and book review.
Sherrey's Bio
A retired legal secretary, Sherrey Meyer grew tired of drafting
and revising pleadings and legal documents. She had always dreamed of
writing something else, anything else! Once she retired she couldn’t stay
away from the computer, and so she began to write. Among her projects is
a memoir of her “life with mama,” an intriguing Southern tale of matriarchal
power and control displayed in verbal and emotional abuse. Sherrey is
married and lives with husband Bob in Milwaukie, OR.
You
can reach Sherrey on her websites: Healing by
Writing and Found
Between the Covers or via
email at salice78@comcast.net
