Should Authors Write Bad Book Reviews? by Kristen Lamb

Reviews have been on my mind again lately - especially bad ones, especially those written by people who don't appear to have read the book. I took special notice of Pamela Paul's words in an interview in this month's Poets and Writers, which I think all reviewers should take to heart, Paul is the new editor of the New York Times Book Review section. 

“Nearly every writer writes a book with a great amount of attention and intention and hopes and dreams. And it's important to take that effort seriously and to recognize that a book may have taken ten years of a writer's life, that the writer has put heart and soul into it. And it behooves us, as book-review-editors, to treat those books with the care and attention they deserve, and to give the writer that respect."

Then I found this wonderful post on Kristen Lamb's Blog on the same subject. I personally will not write a bad review because I know from my own experience that they hurt.

Please let me know what your think.

Here is Kristen Lamb's opinion from her blog post:

Okay, yesterday we had a little bit of a debate about leaving book reviews. First of all, the post is to warn you of the dangers of posting bad reviews as an author. Does it mean you can’t? No. Can you tweet while drinking and listening to LinkinPark? Yes, but you do so at your own risk. Same here. I am not the social media gestapo, but I am here to warn you of the hazards that are REAL.

We Never Know Who People Know

I once commented offhandedly to an acquaintance about a book I was reading. I wasn’t nasty, I just mentioned that I found it confusing and the dream sequences were messing me up. I also added that it could be me. I WAS seven-months pregnant, so I added the caveat that it could just be Baby Brain.

Little did I know the acquaintance was BEST FRIENDS with the author. I didn’t even say anything all that bad and that author has HATED me since, even though I’d bought all her books to demonstrate support. Just an offhanded comment on the phone has impacted me professionally, and to this day it grieves me that I hurt her.

What if I’d posted a review?

Humans are NOT Rational

Okay, normal people are emotional and irrational. Writers? The Normal Ship sailed long ago without us. Part of what makes us good at our job is we are sensitive. Granted, we do need to wear Big Girl/Boy Pants, but it doesn’t change the fact that a bad review HURTS. A bad review from our peers? Our TRIBE? Our fellow writers-at-arms? Multiply the hurt by a million, then add 3. We don’t just feel hurt, we feel betrayed.

What is Your BRAND?

If you have an English degree and are a writer and you review lots and lots and lots of books? You have added “reviewer” to your brand. We won’t expect all sunshine and rainbows (or silence) from you. You wear TWO hats. Author. Reviewer. But, if you’re like me and you write a review every few months when you finally remember the password to Goodreads? Just keep to the positive. 3s, 4s, 5s are fine if your review is constructive and kind.

I have a higher bar and am extreme in ALL things, including praise. I don’t review unless I am all like…

THIS BOOK IS SO AWESOME I SAW JESUS!

But that’s me. So if you get a good review from me, I hope it’s valuable because it is EXTREMELY RARE. I was known as The Death Star as an editor, so if you get a 5 star review? You NAILED it. Beyond that? It’s hard to take off my “Editor Hat.” If I can’t proclaim unequivocal awesomeness? I just don’t say anything publicly.

Silence Speaks Volumes

If a writer posts a book and it isn’t selling and no one is leaving a review? Trust me, the writer gets that she didn’t hit it out of the park. She continues writing and (hopefully) improving.

I recall many years ago when I wrote my first novel. I thought it was PERFECT! It was a thriller-romantic-suspense-comedic-memoir guaranteed to please ALL readers and very smart pets.

****Might I mention that this is the book that is now banned under the Geneva Convention as torture.

Thing is, I brought the book to my great-aunt who 1) had a Masters in English and 2) had NO social intelligence. She was the aunt who could be guaranteed to announce in front of a group “Kristen, you’re getting fat!”

So I handed her my tome…so she could like, find the missing commas and typos, right? She gave it back to me UNMARKED.

It was at that point I thought, “Oh, DEAR GOD? What have I written?”

Now she could have SLAYED me, but her silence spoke VOLUMES. In fact, it was far more powerful than if she would have red-penned me into the third circle of Hell. It made me go back to the drawing board and take classes and read craft books. It was enough to humble me, but not CRUSH me.

Maybe It’s Because I am the WANA Mama

In the olden days of vanity press, I had a tough time accepting self-publishing. I felt it was an un-vetted author trying to pose as someone who’d passed a certain litmus test of approval. These days? People….regular people…know about self-publishing. So when I see a writer who is brave enough to TRY, that alone is worthy of my respect.

Hey, when I was new? I never met an adverb I didn’t LOVE.

So when I see this in new writers? It’s cute. Like baby steps. When a baby is learning to walk, we don’t yell, “YOU SO SUCK. CAN’T EVEN WALK! LUZR!” A lot of the writers brave enough to go it alone know they are risking rejection, but I prefer to focus on their bravery and not the lack of plot. That can be sent in a polite and constructive e-mail. Sure the writer might freak out or call you names. But she could then calm down, have some wine and realize why the book isn’t selling. THAT is paying it forward and looking out for your peeps.

And, like I said yesterday, I have the right to be WRONG. If this doesn’t work for you? Fine. I don’t support Stepford Blogs or Stepford Reviews, either. BUT, as a fellow writer, I think it is better to praise in public and criticize in private. It’s classy. It doesn’t burn bridges or crush people’s dreams.

If an author can’t take a private note of critique from a peer? Then they are in the wrong profession, but at least you didn’t hurt your brand or theirs. For all you know, they could take that critique and become an amazing writer…and you helped make that happen.

I STILL Get E-Mails

My first book, We Are Not Alone—The Writer’s Guide to Social Media actually had a handful of typos. My publisher was new and we were rushing the book in hopes of having it ready for RWA Nationals. To this DAY, I get kind e-mails notifying me of the typos. I think it’s super sweet. The person didn’t BASH me in a review. They CARED. And I can’t tell you how highly I think of these people. They could have given me an @$$#0!& review, but they cared enough to take the time to help me.

THAT, my friends, is ROCKSTAR material.

What are your thoughts? Am I dumber than a brain-damaged monkey? Undermining the establishment? What would you think if someone sent you an e-mail with critique and ways to improve?

I love hearing from you!

And I love hearing from you too. Please post a comment here about your thoughts about writing bad book reviews. Plus, I'd love those of you who have read my memoir, Leaving the Hall Light On to please post a "good" review on Amazon. 

My guest, Belinda Nicoll - drumroll please!

I'm so happy to have Belinda Nicoll here today. She is the author of the memoir, Out of Sync, which I read and reviewed a couple of months ago. For me Out of Sync to be more than a memoir. It is an adventure story, a travelogue, a history of our changing times, and a philosophical view of the world and life, as she adjusts to moving to America from South Africa with a new husband. I highly recommend you pick up her beautifully written book.

And I'm so grateful to Belinda for answering my long list of questions. Here goes:

1.    What does the title of the book mean?

My memoir explores the concept of change—despite a series of harrowing events that demonstrate how quickly adventure and excitement can devolve into chaos and despair, I believe that change, however merciless, is always the most profound catalyst for personal development.

The title of my book—Out of Sync—captures the condition that permeated all aspects of my life in the ten years following our expatriation to the US in 2001. It began with our arrival at JFK International Airport on the day of the 9/11 terrorist attacks against our host country. We were trapped in that chaos for five days before, finally, making our connecting flight to San Francisco. There, we were greeted by the people’s flag-waving show of patriotism, which made us feel a lot more alien than we would have under normal circumstances.

What’s more, that tension spotlighted the preceding series of unnerving changes in my life: a divorce that ended a twenty-year marriage, an empty nest (including my daughter’s plan to live in Germany for a year as an au pair), an unexpected romance that resulted in a rushed wedding to accommodate my new husband’s professional opportunity in the States and, consequently, my enforced status as a trailing spouse. Last, but by no means least, it was a sad day saying goodbye to my country, friends, family and, especially, my children.

The disparity between my restrictions and my husband’s privileges, on top of being an outsider at that crucial time in America’s history, knocked my composure right off its axis. Considering my previous top-level position in advertising, I felt humiliated to be seen as ‘just a spouse.’ My incapacitated self-esteem and my husband’s feelings of guilt put a strain on our new marriage at a time when both our host and home countries were confronting fundamental changes of their own. Things pretty much went downhill from there, on personal, national and global levels. It would take ten years before my husband and I achieve some sense of equilibrium again.

As one reviewer says, this book is more than a "fish out of water" story. Nicoll layers her experience of living (and working) in a new country with the other "out of sync" areas of her life that seem to radiate out from the center-point of expatriation: out of sync marriage, professional life, spiritual life, and, ultimately, feeling out of sync with herself, as well.

 2.    In your book you tell your story about expatriating from South Africa to the United States. What other themes do you explore?

My story is set in the context of post-9/11 America and post-apartheid South Africa, so I make a fair number of culture comparisons, like cuisine and eating habits, leisure activities and holiday traditions, as well as work ethics, corporate politics, and sociopolitical circumstances. Culture shock, including reversed culture shock thanks to some radical changes in South Africa, is a significant theme. Another one is conflict—internal and external—our own quarrels mirroring the political strife in each country as well as the global economic distress of the time. I look at how relationships (on personal, national and global levels) shift under stress and over time. I explore some psychological components of change: the process of acculturation that requires you to adapt your behavior, communication, values and beliefs, as well as a search for identity driven by the need to belong.   

3.    What was it like to write your book—how long did it take?

I was really writing the book right from the start of our expatriation without intending to do so, since my email newsletters to my friends and family over a period of five to seven years form the bulk of my story. Even though I have a background in advertising copywriting and people were urging me to write a book, I only gave it serious consideration when circumstances forced another career change on me.

It took me three years of serious writing, revising and editing to shape the book. Within three months of pitching the manuscript to agents, I had four calls for submission. Sadly, I did not clinch a deal; I wasn’t too surprised, as rumors of a skittish market had already been doing the rounds. When I decided to my Masters of Fine Arts (MFA) in Creative Writing for fiction, I was granted one semester in non-fiction, which I used as a revision of the total manuscript. At that point self-publishing was, in my opinion, the sensible way to go.

4.    When you got discouraged, what helped keep you going? Did you have a coach or support system?

I had some nasty critiquing experiences before finding mentors and support groups that suited my sensibilities, people who welcomed my outsider perspective of their culture. My first mentor was important to the process because she was the one who said, “Don’t you dare not write that story.” My second mentor was the one who helped me shape the story. I also formed my own critiquing group. All in all, my total network consisted of published writers, private coaches, editors and psychologists. You can’t wish for better support and guidance than that.

5.    Who should read your book?

• Men and women
• South Africans and Americans
• South African expatriates living in the USA, and American expatriates living anywhere in the world
• All expatriates, now matter where they are from, now matter where they find themselves now
• Anyone who can relate to the disruptive force of change, whether on a personal, social, or global level
• Any couple in a committed relationship
• People struggling with relationships of any kind
• People who have an open mind with regards to life, love, faith, relationships, career, expatriation, and global politics
• Adventurers who love traveling, locally and abroad
• All the footloose, fancy-free, rolling stones in the world

6.    What is your writing life like now? What are you working on?

I try and divide my time between some freelance copywriting and personal coaching, marketing Out of Sync via my social media networks and other outlets, and working on a creative writing guide and my first novel. Ghostwriting a book about the life of an ex-marine is also on the cards; I just need to find the time.

7.    Besides being a writer, you also work as a creativity coach. What exactly is that and what services do you provide?

I provide various services. As a life coach, I help people who are dealing with change, though I don’t do much intervention work anymore. As a creativity coach, I mostly help writers who are working on a big project, like a book. I also offer creativity workshops, writing classes and manuscript critiquing.

Author bio  

Belinda Nicoll is originally from South Africa. She expatriated to the US in 2001 and has been a citizen since 2010. She holds a BA degree in Communication and a Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing. She is the author of a memoir titled Out of Sync. Belinda was a talent agent and drama coach before venturing into the advertising world as copywriter and client service director. These days, she works as a freelance writer and creativity coach. Her works-in-progress are a novel, a guidebook on the craft of writing, and she blogs about issues related to writing and creativity, as well as her favorite subject: change.

You can connect with Belinda here: website / blog / Facebook / Twitter / LinkedIn.  And Out of Sync is available from various online retailers.

To read my review, please go here.