Wonderful memoir writing advice from Kathy Pooler

Kathleen Pooler was guest here last November and happily agreed to bring her memoir writing wisdom back again. Please welcome Kathleen to Choices. I'm sure you're like me and can't wait to read her memoir once it's launched.

I look forward to your reading Kathleen's six writing tips.

Six Tips for Honoring the Story Within: A Memoir Writer’s Challenge

By Kathleen Pooler

“Your sacred place is where you find yourself again and again.” 

Joseph Campbell

Writing a memoir is hard work.

I know because I have been writing mine for the past four years.

That’s not counting the vignettes I started writing about thirteen years ago and the journaling I’ve done since I was a preteen. But I didn’t get serious about my memoir writer’s journey until 2009 when I started memoir writing workshops and started attending regional and national writing conferences.

It’s very humbling to learn what you don’t know, and when I started out, I knew nothing about writing a memoir. I only knew I had a story inside me I wanted to write about it.

It’s a well-known fact in memoir writing circles that writing a memoir is a daunting task fraught with many challenges, not the least being:

* Excavating painful memories

* Standing in your truth

* Dealing with family members or close friends who may not agree with your      perception of the truth.

All that on top of a market that says you have to be a celebrity to sell your story. Granted, some of this is changing with digital publishing but the fact still remains—getting your memoir into the hands of readers remains a challenge.

The odds of writing a memoir that sells can feel pretty overwhelming.

But readers love stories they can connect with and we all have a story to share.

How can we honor these stories?

Here are six tips I’ve learned to counteract these odds and honor the story within:

Tip #1: Connect with your purpose for writing.

         Be clear about why you want to write your story. Do you want to leave a legacy for your grandchildren or are you determined to seek mainstream publication? Either way is fine. You just need to be clear on your purpose.

Connecting with your purpose for writing the story only you can tell, allows you to have a story to tell.

Tip #2: Put your inner critic in his/her place.

         We all have that nagging voice inside that tells us we can’t write; no one will be interested in our story and who cares anyway? Find a way to silence that voice so you can get on with the work of writing. I wrote out this dialogue with my inner critic which helped me.

Tip #3: Find your authentic voice.

         Keep writing until you find the story that is begging to be told and once you find it, believe in it. I found this to be the most challenging part. Once I started writing vignettes, the story unfolded and took on a life of its own. I found my voice through writing and rewriting.

Tip #4: Commit to excellence in every step of the process.

         Study your craft and seek professional guidance along the way—writing mentors, editors, publishing experts (traditional and self-publishing), marketing experts. You can always do it yourself if you know what is expected in each phase of the process and are sure you can meet these expectations with excellence.

Tip #5: Develop a tough skin:

         Be open to having your work critiqued honestly and constructively by readers and writers you respect. Rejection is part of the process. Figure out a way to get over it and get on with the work at hand. Here are two links about not giving up:

• “Don’t Give Up” Seth Godin’s blog
• “7 Steps for Handling Rejection” on Charlotte Dixon Rain’s blog

 Tip #6: Share your stories openly and often.

         Ask others –besides your family—to be beta readers for your work-in-progress. Joining Joe Bunting’s Story Cartel has been one of the wisest investments I’ve made. I recently sent my work-in-progress memoir to my second round of beta readers as a result of the encouragement received from Joe and other writers in The Story Cartel Course. I also have developed a whole new network of fellow writers and prospective readers. We help promote one another.

Do what it takes to take care of yourself so you can take care of your writing.

Honor the story within. Not only does it deserve to be told, it deserves to shine.

Kathleen's bio

Kathleen Pooler is a writer and a retired Family Nurse Practitioner who is working on a memoir and a sequel about how the power of hope through her faith in God has helped her to transform, heal, and transcend life’s obstacles and disappointments:  domestic abuse, divorce, single parenting, loving, and letting go of an alcoholic son, cancer and heart failure to live a life of joy and contentment. She believes that hope matters and that we are all strengthened and enlightened when we share our stories.

            

She blogs weekly at her Memoir Writer’s Journey blog: http://krpooler.com and can be found on Twitter @kathypooler and on LinkedIn, Google+, Goodreads and Facebook: Kathleen Pooler

            

One of her stories “The Stone on the Shore” is published in the anthology: “The Woman I’ve Become: 37 Women Share Their Journeys From Toxic Relationships to Self-Empowerment” by Pat LaPointe, 2012. Another story: “Choices and Chances” is published in the mini-anthology: “My Gutsy Story” by Sonia Marsh, 2012.

I’m inundated with writing information

I get posts from the sites listed below either daily or weekly. They take over my email stream. And if I read each and every one of them every day, I wouldn’t have time for anything else – including what I’m sitting down to do – WRITE! 

Mind you, this list doesn’t include posts from blogs I regularly follow, a daily poem, and other various emails from the Writer’s Market, Amazon, Powell’s Books, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Twitter – the list goes on and on.

So what do you think? Which ones should I continue getting? Which ones should I toss? Also, are there any that I’m missing? I’d love to hear from you.

Storyfix is about getting real with your writing dream. About writing the kinds of stories that attract a readership through an understanding of craft and harnessing the power of the underlying principles that make it so.

“If you want to publish your work, if you want a career as a writer, then you’ve come to the right place.” ~ Larry Brooks

Copyblogger has been teaching people how to create killer online content. Not bland corporate crap created to fill up a company webpage. Valuable information that attracts attention, drives traffic, and builds your business.

The Write Practice is here to kick-start your practice. You have to write millions of words no one is ever going to see before you can write the ones that will change someone’s life.  

The Story Circle Network is dedicated to helping women share the stories of their lives and to raising public awareness of the importance of women's personal histories. We carry out our mission through publications, a website, classes, workshops, writing and reading circles, and woman-focused programs. Our activities empower women to tell their stories, discover their identities through their stories, and choose to be the authors of their own lives.

Seth’s Blog Seth Godin is a writer, a speaker and an agent of change. American Way Magazine calls him, "America's Greatest Marketer," and his blog is perhaps the most popular in the world written by a single individual. As Seth says, “Choose wisely. It's perhaps the most important decision we make, every day.”

Brain Pickings is a human-powered discovery engine for interestingness, a subjective lens on what matters in the world and why, bringing you things you didn’t know you were interested in — until you are.

  

She Writes Press is an independent company founded to serve members of She Writes, the largest global community of women writers online, and women writers everywhere. Its regular emails include articles by successful authors and an opportunity to write something related to your writing in six words.

 

Writer’s Digest includes prompts, articles about writing and publishing, competitions, and info about conferences and workshops.

Author Marketing Experts blogs about book marketing, publishing, social media, writing, author and book promotions.

Guide to Literary Agents Part of the Writer’s Digest family, it includes posts about all aspects of writing and provides lists of agents looking for new books. I had a guest post there, so there are opportunities for you. Chuck Sambuchino is very accessible.

CRWOPPS Creative Writers Opportunities List Group provides daily lists of publishing and writing contest opportunities.

HARO Help A Reporter Out  is your exclusive publicity genie, delivering you three free email alerts daily, straight from journalists and media companies on a deadline who want your story and expertise! Plus, with HARO, you can submit unlimited pitches to top journalists from local, regional and national media outlets. I’ve had a couple of successes here, including a paying gig.

My Name is Not Bob  provides guest posts and writing and marketing tips by Robert Lee Brewer, who describes himself as Father. Poet. Editor. Curator. Occasional slap-happy smack talker.

BookBaby is a small team of authors, bloggers, programmers, and dreamers. We're dedicated to helping authors make the journey from composition to publication. Includes lots of writing and publishing tips in its blog.