“Deposits of unfinished grief reside in more American hearts than I ever imagined. Until these pockets are opened and their contents aired openly, they block unimagined amounts of human growth and potential. They can give rise to bizarre and unexplained behavior which causes untold internal stress.” ~ Robert Kavanaugh
The Compassionate Friends had this quote on its Facebook page today. It is so in keeping with what I’ve experienced lately. Grief seems to be running rampant.
I’ve been in contact with several people through my involvement with The Compassionate Friends who are hurting so badly. And I don’t know how to advise them – except to tell them my experience through my memoir, Leaving the Hall Light On
What I did with my grief was pick myself up almost immediately after my son’s death and begin to fill up my time – with work, working out, writing, reading, and participating in any diversion I could find (movies, plays, opera, trips). As a result, and after eleven years I am a stronger person – at least according to my husband – and not feeling so much of the grief anymore.
But I wonder if my solution is right for everyone. So many times I thought about quitting work, slacking off my workout regime, staying home more, and just letting it all hang out. But, I stopped myself. I just couldn’t do that. I’m too driven.
I wonder if relaxing on the couch, eating those proverbial bonbons, and just allowing myself to wallow would have achieved the same effect.
Being strong takes a lot of effort. It takes pure and constant focus. Could I have relaxed more and taken it easy and still feel as well as I do today?
Please tell me your thoughts about coping with grief.