I am honored to host
author Donald R. Dempsey during his WOW-Women On Writing blog tour. His
memoir, Betty’s
Child (Dream of Things, March 2013) is
the story of one young man’s ordeals with poverty, religion, physical and
mental abuse, maternal insanity, and the dire need for confidence and direction
as he attempts to come of age. Here’s what three noted reviewers had to say.
“Heartrending
and humorous. In scene after vivid scene, Dempsey presents his inspiring true
story with accomplished style. Dempsey’s discipline as a writer lends the
real-life tale the feel of a fictional page-turner.” Kirkus Reviews
”Honest and raw, yet full of humor, pathos, and
no-holds-barred dialogue. Fasten your seat belt and get ready for a roller
coaster ride. Highly recommended.” Dr. Alan Gettis, Ph.D., clinical
psychologist and author of The Happiness Solution
”This memoir is for everyone who has ever known
someone abandoned, someone unloved, someone with barriers that seem
impenetrable. With wit and delicacy, Dempsey exposes wounds that we would
prefer to ignore, without ever pushing the reader away with any sense of
melodrama. A truly unforgettable memoir.” San Francisco Book Review
My Review
Here's my review of Betty’s Child. My rating is five out of five stars.
Donny is a runner, a
record-breaking runner, and for a reason. He needs to run fast to get away from
his abusive and criminal mother and the battery of her various sexual partners,
his impoverished and crime-ridden home and neighborhood, and his gangster
neighbors who want to lure him into their lawless lives.
From the outset it looks
like Donny’s story is so bleak, so horrific that there is no way he’ll ever
survive and come out whole. Yet along the way, he is lucky. Church members urge
him join them in finding God, a young friend shows him what a normal home life
looks like, wise old men he works for treat him like a grandson, and he doesn’t
succumb to any stray bullets. Also that he is athletic, smart, and an innately
good person helps.
Donald Dempsey tells the
story of his early life in minute detail and with such a naturally precocious
voice that he drew me in immediately. Every word of this book matters; every
scene lends itself to the whole, every horrific heart-stopping event kept me
turning the pages. Let it suffice to say, I had never heard about some of the
things Dempsey describes, yet his writing made me believe every aspect. Even as
each event went from bad to worse, he convinced me that he would obtain,
through his wits, smart-ass mouth, sheer brute force, and fast running, a
wholesome and normal life someday.
By the time I got to the
last page, I know Donny has survived and gone on to have a normal life with a
wife and family. But, now I want Dempsey to tell me how. I want to know what
happened to his stepbrothers whom he cared for much of his young life. I want
to know about his school years, marriage, family, and work life. And I want to
know how he knew he had to write his story.
I urge you to read this
book. It is inspiring for anyone who has had to bear tragic and horrendous
events in their lives. Then I urge you to wait with me for a sequel.
Q & A with Donald Dempsey
And while we wait, Don was
kind enough to answer some of my questions right away.
Madeline:
You were abused and neglected as a child. How did you survive?
Don: I
was very fortunate. When you live in an impoverished area you’re basically
rolling the dice every day. Violent crime is the norm. Say the wrong thing...
Happen to be in the wrong place... A stray bullet... The environment actually
breeds the criminal. I like to call it the stepping over the body chalk
syndrome.
Madeline:
You have two younger brothers. What was it like being the oldest and trying to
look out for them?
Don: I
can’t really answer this question very well. My behavior was instinctive. I
somehow knew my mother lacked the protective traits most mothers possess. She
could, and often did, leave us wherever and with whoever was convenient. When
we were old enough to rebel and no longer the hungry pliable tools she used to
plead for sympathy, she was eager to
be rid of us.
Madeline:
Several people tried to help you…a youth minister…a coach at your school. Were
they of any help?
Don:
Most definitely. Certain phrases and actions of many people in my life have
become ingrained parts of who I am. I consider this my greatest strength. I had very little guidance or direction. I closely
studied those who had what I believed I wanted, and imitated everything about them I could.
Madeline:
How did a childhood of abuse and neglect affect you as an adult?
Don:
I’m very untrusting by nature, and I internalize way too much. I work way too
many hours, worry and fret myself into a lather two or three times a week,
prefer to tend to my own business and avoid others, and rarely sleep through
the night. Other than that I’m pretty normal.
Madeline:
Why did you write Betty’s Child?
Don: I
had so much roiling around inside me about those years…I just wanted to let
some of it out. Once I started writing,
the book actually wrote itself…took on a mind of its own. But I’m glad it did,
because the story in those pages is much better than the anger and chaos I
released.
Madeline:
Who should read Betty’s Child?
Don:
Anyone looking for some perspective when dealing with pain or loss.
Madeline:
Have your experiences made you a better husband or a better father?
Don: I
hope so. I’ve tried so hard not to pass on any of the life I endured. My wife had to suffer through the bad tempers of
my younger years, and I pushed my oldest son too much in a foolish effort to
mold him into something that proved to the world what I felt I was worth. I
like to think that with the passing of the years I eventually managed to become
something akin to what I should’ve been if raised properly. I’m fairly good
with who I am now.
Madeline:
Thank you, Don, for being here today and giving us such candid answers.
Synopsis of Betty’s
Child
Donny Davis is struggling to coexist with his mother, a single
woman who moves from place to place, always just a step ahead of the law,
scamming churches, and running bad checks. She has already been incarcerated
for these self-same illegal activities, but refuses to alter her lifestyle; a
lifestyle that includes bringing home men she knows little or nothing about.
One of these men eventually assaults Donny. He feels trapped, as his mother
makes excuses for her boyfriend's actions, but he fears more for his younger
brothers than he does for himself. Scarred and sullen, Donny shamefully
attends the church his mother is scamming. He stays silent, but something
within him begins to rise up, and his youthful indignation swells to an
outright full rebellion. As his life with his mother grows ever more
fraught with peril, Donny's world begins to completely unravel. His beloved dog
is taken from him. One of his younger brothers is brutally attacked. He loses
the few friends he has when the family is moved by the church they attended.
And then, the very pastor who has control of them begins to accuse him of his
mother's sins.
About the
Author
Donald Dempsey experienced childhood abuse and neglect first
hand, but went on to have a fulfilling family life as an adult and to own his
own business. "If you're lucky, you make it to adulthood in one
piece," says Don. "But there's no guarantee the rest of your life is
going to be any better. Abused kids are often plagued by fear and insecurity.
They battle depression and have trouble with relationships. In the worst cases,
abused children perpetuate the cycle." But Don is living proof that you
can overcome a childhood of abuse and neglect. "You start by letting go of
as much of the guilt (yes, abused kids feel guilty) and as many of the bad
memories as possible. At the same time, you hold on to the things that helped
you survive. For me, it was the belief that you can make life better by working
at it and earning it. It helps to have a sense of humor, too." Find out more about the author by visiting him online:
Book Giveaway: If you would like to enter for a chance to win a copy of Betty’s Child by Donald Dempsey, simply
leave a comment at the bottom of this post. If you are reading this anywhere other than here on this
blog , such as on Facebook, in an email, or on Goodreads, please go over to my blog, Choices. Only
comments left here will be entered into the giveaway. The
deadline for this contest is Wednesday, July 31, 2013, at noon. The winner,
chosen using Random Draw, will
be contacted privately via email. I will also announce the winner in a blog
post here after the contest is over.
Betty's Child is available at Amazon.
