I read “The New Yorker.” I have been for years, but I’m always about two months behind. There’s so much to read in each issue and so little time. Usually I read while I’m on the elliptical trainer or treadmill at the gym, so it takes me about a week to get through an issue.
Last week I read an article by Tina Fey, called “Confessions of a Juggler,” in the Feb. 14 & 21, 2011 issue in which she writes about juggling being a mommy and having the career of a lifetime, and having to answer the question that keeps coming up for her as she approaches age 40: should she have another child. She thinks it’s rude that people always ask if she’s planning to and at the same time she doesn’t want to ignore her five-year old daughter’s wish to be a big sister. She also wants to make sure that her daughter doesn’t have the entire burden of caring for her aging parents on her own. With that she states she needs a “backup.”
I went through those kinds of thoughts when I was considering getting pregnant after Paul was born, and even when I found out I was pregnant I had misgivings. I had a great job at the time with great career potential, and although I was only in my mid 30s, anyone past 30 was considered old to be having a child in those days. I also didn’t want to go through another Caesarian delivery – it was just too painful.
Then, I didn’t consider the need for a backup, but now I know how important having one is. In fact, I wish I had had a pair and a spare. Now poor Ben has the entire burden of caring for Bob and me in our old age. Of course, I never thought about one of my children dying before me – that’s a parents darkest nightmare – a place where none of us should ever have to go – but it indeed happened to me. So thankfully I have Ben – probably one of the nicest and most loving people I know.
And, now I’m happy to hear Tina is pregnant. I hope she’ll even consider having a third child as well. A backup is great, but you can’t beat a pair and a spare.
I need to check out this article! I love Tina Fey, and I am glad to hear her think it is rude that she gets asked about her pregnancy plans. Though I am single, and ONLY thirty, I get ALL THE TIME "so you don't want kids" as though kids and a career are impossible to manage. I cheer for you wonderful woman that prove that you can have both.
ReplyDeleteThanks Shauna. But one of the things I didn't mention was that I did put my career on hold while the boys were little although I never stopped working totally -- I just left the climb up the corporate ladder and never looked back. I went back to a corporate job years later and got another good job, so I don't regret what I did at all.
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't suppose Tina Fey will suffer from her decision either.
Those questions about what you plan to do with your body and your life are inappropriate. I refuse to go there with my new daughter-in-law. She certainly doesn't need me nagging at her.