tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1773382509071881565.post1251254372178767951..comments2023-10-28T06:37:45.669-07:00Comments on Choices: Thoughts about Tucsonmadeline40http://www.blogger.com/profile/06549058012582815995noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1773382509071881565.post-43428034335807076882011-01-14T17:16:43.066-08:002011-01-14T17:16:43.066-08:00Madeline,
I have thought about you and Paul this w...Madeline,<br />I have thought about you and Paul this week, and also about my client and friend Jennifer Herbstritt, author of "Leaving Virginia" whose brother, Jeremy was killed at VA Tech. Through her book and yours I have learned much about what families experience in regards to grief, as well as anger and frustration and depression. I know that you did everything you could for your son, everything possible at the time; but I suppose it is instinctual to feel inside that "if only I had done more." Unfortunately the systems are not in place to properly support parents like you who try to get help for their adult children, let alone those parents who are less able or willing to advocate.<br /><br />I, too, have felt very sad this week thinking of this nine-year-old child, this 9/11 baby, this "Child of Hope." Today, I began reading "After the Darkest Hour: How Suffering Begins the Journey to Wisdom" by Kathleen A. Brehony, Ph.D. I am finding it interesting and helpful, as she examines what characteristics in a person make them able to use suffering to create a "new normal" and why others never are able to rebuild their life after tragedy. It is something I have always wondered, and she explores this subject indepth. <br /><br />Well, in any case, I think we should allow ourselves a morning in bed, a time of sorrow...after all, isn't that what we want from others, at least, when our loved one dies? Don't we have trouble understanding how everything else just keeps going on? How we wish others would show some acknowledgment of this world's tremendous loss. Much was lost when this child died last Saturday. I know (from reading your book) that your Paul was nothing like what they are describing this murderer was like...there are many faces of mental illness. But somewhere our systems failed this child and failed this person who killed her and it is hard to feel hopeful. But we must. Because change is possible. Who can know, Madeline, who will be touched by your book and whose life it might even save, the life of a child or the life of a parent who is experiencing profound loss. I'm sorry this is such a long comment, but as I said, I've been thinking of you, and Jennifer Herbstritt, all week.Janice Phelps Williamshttp://www.appalachianmorning.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1773382509071881565.post-87827054442980696122011-01-14T11:47:17.129-08:002011-01-14T11:47:17.129-08:00Nationally, Madeline, our collective hearts are br...Nationally, Madeline, our collective hearts are broken. To lose a child - whether it is a random act or by his own hand is the greatest tragedy - I cannot imagine your grief and the grief of the Tucson parents (the shooter's included). Hugs to you - your stone today was very moving.Barbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04984171407726520584noreply@blogger.com